it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
