I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
