Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My balls are so social today.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
