We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
