69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
