As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
