You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I fill condoms, not promises.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
