I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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