Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
