At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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