I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
