dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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