Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
