Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
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