I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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