dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
