He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
