The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
return my video game
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
