:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We left the knife in your bed.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
