i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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