He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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