and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm always down for nudity.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
