You're so nebulous sometimes
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
