Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
