Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you win again, gameday.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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