i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
