I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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