I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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