took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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