You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
