THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
