I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
