i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
