I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
