You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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