I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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