More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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