I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
