The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
