I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Randomize
