I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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