so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Randomize
