I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
