I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
