Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
