I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
