he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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