Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
