I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
