SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
