Is it normal to miss your booty call?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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