in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Who died my cat blue again?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
